So one of Auntie Anxiety's "things" is how important it is for you to learn how to talk back to your anxiety. Over the years I have come to realize that "talking back" can mean different things to different people so I thought I would take a moment to explain Auntie Anxiety's version of "Talking Back".
We are not referring to "back talk" here. While you may end up being sarcastic or firm with Anxiety, talking back is not about getting into a pissing contest! Arguing with Anxiety from a place of resistance is not going to work. Anxiety eats resistance for breakfast and that it just gives it fuel for a good fight 😬
The kind of talking back that Auntie Anxiety teaches has more to do with recognizing that Anxiety is not in charge and then being direct and firm or silly and sarcastic. Whatever fits your style, the point is to "talk back" to Anxiety as you would to your bossy and socially awkward cousin or neighbor! Anxiety only pretends to be an authority figure, it is really just a trickster that messes with you when it gets bored!
Let's use an example from The Wizard of Oz. Remember how Oz was perceived as this authority figure? There was an air of mystery around him. He rarely gave anyone an audience, and if you did get in to see him there was smoke and fire and a loud booming voice (No matter how many times I have seen that movie, I still jump when he yells 😬).
All the folks in Oz and the surrounding areas obeyed his commands. They seemed happy enough, but were clear that he was in charge. Dorothy is the one who decides to question him, and, initially, gets yelled at, told what to do (you know, get the Wicked Witches broomstick) and dismissed for her trouble. It is only when Toto pulls back the curtain and exposes The Great Oz for the Conman that he is that Dorothy finds out that she actually had the power within her the whole time.
See we have this tendency to want someone else to be in charge, to make the decisions, to be responsible. It’s not our fault, we are conditioned to listen to and follow directions from authority figures from the time we are born! What’s important, though, is to recognize that Anxiety is not that authority figure, we are our own authority figure. We get to choose and be responsible. Anxiety’s real job is to let us know when there is an issue of true safety, not just all of the situations where we might be uncomfortable, the ones that Anxiety enjoys scaring us with 🙄
So let's review: you already have the power within you to make decisions for yourself and to deal with whatever comes your way. You do not have to listen to Anxiety because it is using some fancy smoke and mirrors to convince you that it is in charge and all the while it is really just conning you 😳
So this week I want to you to think about how you are going to pull back the curtain on your Anxiety and really begin the process of getting to know exactly who you are dealing with AND how you are going to choose to Talk Back to your Anxiety!
The voice behind Auntie Anxiety is Lynn Dutrow, Courage Coach and Counselor