Holy Shit!

​How many of you turned the calendar over to August a week ago and went "Holy Shit!"???  

It may simply be just because August represents the last month of summer (even though the season Summer does not end until September 21st ), but how many of you had that reaction because it means that it's time to get ready for your kids to return to school?  Maybe this is a milestone year: your baby is heading to college for the first time or your oldest is off to Kindergarten all day.  Maybe you are excited because summer has gone by like molasses running uphill in January (that would be super slow for those of you unfamiliar with that old time saying) and you cannot wait for your kids to be back in school.  What about those of you who have kids who are already ramping up their anxiety about going back?  Are you envisioning the tears, complaints of stomachaches, attempts to avoid, and shouting matches that the school year brings?  Whatever your situation, does Anxiety take full advantage by showing up and bringing a bag of worry and fear to your table?

Anxiety loves change because it is one of the easiest times for it to get a hold on us and play the "What if...?" Game!  "What if my kid has trouble on the bus?" "What if she cries when I drop her off?" "What if he doesn't have any friends?" "What if my kid refuses to go to school at all?"  

None of us like to see our kids in pain or suffering while they wrestle with overwhelming situations and emotions.  Change is tough for everyone involved.  The tricky part here is that Change is Inevitable (it is actually Growth that is Optional) AND the more we support our kids in learning how to deal with change and the overwhelming feelings that often accompany change, the more prepared they will be to become self-sufficient and competent adults one day.

So what do you do for the time that you have left before the school year starts (where I live that is not until after Labor Day this year!)?  

1. Do your best to enjoy the summer break.  Get out and enjoy the outdoors as much as possible AND let your kids get bored at times. Boredom is a great way to push our kids to problem solve and create their own ways to prove to themselves that they are competent.
2. Visualize the transition back to school as going as smoothly as possible.  See their fresh clean faces waking up on time, getting dressed, eating a healthy breakfast, and having their backpacks ready and arriving at the bus stop on time!  Fantasy?  Yep, and you may find it closer to reality if you can visualize it first, over and over again, for yourself.  Anxiety loves it when you spend time thinking about all of the things that can go wrong!  If that is your default, then turn those nightmares into a comedy.  If you are seeing your kid refusing school then picture yourself dragging them to the bus by their hair and stuffing them through the bus doors.  Humor can go a long way toward getting Anxiety to back off!
3. If your kids start talking about feeling nervous, help them to notice that nervousness and excitement feel exactly the same in your body!  It is only our thoughts that differentiate between Anxiety and Excitement.....so practice saying with your kids "I'm excited!" Over and over again, until you are willing to deal with it!

I, personally, am truly excited for the opportunities that the rest of the summer brings (a couple of hours by the pool here and there, bike rides, enjoying the bounties from my in-law's garden, exploring a museum or two)  AND for all of the opportunities that will happen this fall.  If Anxiety is kicking your ass or is tormenting one of your loved ones, Auntie Anxiety has lots of ways to support you in learning to kick Anxiety out of the Driver’s Seat and into the Back Seat where it belongs!  Details about Fall Group Offerings will be posted soon....