I think for most of us we can wrap our head around the idea that we fear failure. Who wants to look like an ass, feel embarrassed, or face our family and friends (or the general public) when we attempt to do something and it does not work out as planned? I sure as hell don’t!
But what if our fear of failure is really fear of success in disguise?
Say what? That’s just crazy talk…..or is it?
I left you to ponder that our “voice of doubt” (you know the one that shows up immediately and automatically, no matter whether you are doing something for the first time or whether you have been performing your job for 30 years) is the one that we listen to rather than all of the accolades that we receive from our family, friends, colleagues, bosses, strangers on the street, or awesome folks from your e-mail list who hit reply and tell you just how much this week’s email spoke to them 😜
Now, I know you are having a hard time believing that I have a “VOD” and that it shows up regularly.
Maybe your “VOD” is wanting to use this as a way to get you to stop reading my stuff (remember Anxiety wants you all to itself so will look for opportunities to tell you that you are reading lies…) AND I can tell you that my Anxiety in the form of my VOD tells me to NOT share things like how hard I have struggled with writing these e-mails each week.
“Who are you to tell people about how to deal with their Anxiety?”
“No one wants to read your crazy shit!”
“You are going to offend people by writing “crazy shit” 🙄
“You are going to run out of things to say”…
So here’s the deal. Yes, all of this stuff runs through my head (often at about 5am) AND I know that while it appears to be Fear of Failure (looking like an Ass kind of stuff) that it is really tied into Fear of Success…
If I were to actually embrace thoughts and feedback like:
“I know what I am talking about!”
“I have a lifetime of experience dealing with Anxiety AND actual training and shit!"
“You are the expert in Anxiety, Our Guru!”
...then I would have to actually step up to the plate and be willing to hit a home run.
And what would that mean?
Here’s where we psych ourselves out. It would mean that not only would we get the “glory” of success (which seems kind of fabulous to some degree), it would also mean that (for those of us who may be more introverted, sensitive, or reserved) we might actually have to deal with more responsibility than we really want or think that we can handle!
Deep in our subconscious we have beliefs about what would happen if we actually stood up to bat and struck out (let the team and the fans down, feel embarrassed) AND about what would happen if we actually hit a home run (the crowd goes wild, you are in the spotlight).
On the surface we think we want the later; however, we so often let our Anxiety and “VOD” convince us that we actually don’t want either. We just want to sail along in the Safety Zone.
Is your “VOD” just another way that your stupid Anxiety shows up?
Does it get your panties in a wad around fearing failure AND success?
Does it just want to keep you “in your place”?
(Damn it! Once again I have been going on and on and I am running out of time before I am pounced on by an eight year old…)
So I’m going to let you ponder some more….
Why would it do that?
Because it thinks it’s job is to keep you safe...
Failure and Success are outside of the Safety Zone!
Alright, so hit reply and let me know if any of this shit is resonating with you 😳
My goal for next week is to share how I deal with and talk back to my “VOD” and Anxiety 😬
The voice behind Auntie Anxiety is Lynn Dutrow, Courage Coach and Counselor